MARRIAGE INTERVIEW AND COUNSELING

It is deemed necessary for the Church to stress among her members the conviction on the sanctity of marriage. But in the present context of our society the breaking up of marriages is becoming prevalent. There is seemingly a pervasive notion that when couples disagree about anything most of the time the solution is to separate.

There is so much focus on the social significance of marriage. For this reason the rites of marriage particularly those of the upper class are usually pompous and elaborate. This view is also shared by the common people to the extent that some couples because of financial restraints would prefer to postpone or even don’t avail themselves of the church ritual. And the practice of just cohabitating is becoming widely followed by couples.

Given the real situation of marriages in our society, how would the church spread the good news on the sanctity of marriage? What strategies would the pastor undertake in order to attract people to come to the church for weddings to be solemnized? How would the problems of broken marriages and the situation of unwed couples living together be addressed to by the church?

The first thing given importance by our speaker is on the appreciation of the sanctity of marriage. If married couples do not recognize the sacredness of marriage, then it would follow that it would just be easy for them to part ways or seek another partner. In marriage counseling this idea will be dealt with. But of course the venue is not in any other places because of the fact that mostly the women are the ones who come to counseling and such is also conducted as ministerial work in the church.

The speaker suggested to let the couples realize the giftedness of the other and avoid capitalizing much the negative characters. They will also be encouraged to pray and be hopeful that some day they will overcome whatever marriage problem they underwent. It also includes the hope of perfection of the marital relationship as the couple grows into maturity. Another suggestion is to encourage the couple to learn from the lives of the saints especially those saints who are married.

On the matter of the pre-nuptial interview, it is highly recommended that a large number of candidates for marriage be scheduled for interview on the same day so that quality time could be afforded by the priest to each of them. They should also put their hands on the Bible signifying the truth and seriousness of the matters they divulge during the interview. This is related to or has a connection with the “I do’s” they express on their wedding day.

The priest who will solemnize the wedding is ideally the one to conduct the pre-nuptial interview. In this way he would be more familiar to the couple and could give proper exhortation during the wedding. And this would also usher in a personal relationship between the representative of the church and the couple who will exchange vows before God and His Church.

In this topic, I see the need of the availability of the pastor to the people. If the priest is to be more than willing to journey with the people, then his presence would be a symbol of Christ’s presence to his people. By engaging in casual talks, instances will come and opportunities will give way for an occasion in which the priest could explain the significance of marriage. When rapport is established between the priest and the people it would be easy for the priest to convince the people especially the unwed couples to appreciate the sanctity of marriage.If the situation now in the parish portrays weddings as just passing activities, it would the proper time to change and shift strategies. The cudgel is at the hands of the pastors in the parishes and the lay people engaged in the apostolate of enriching marriages. It is not only about observing or following properly the marriage laws that we have, but moreso on the Christian presence which guides every couple towards the perfection of their marital covenant.